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Jody Vance

Ed Watson

The Real Me – by Ed Watson

Getty Images: albert mollon

I had an epiphany tonight. It didn’t go down particularly well.

I was having a pleasant dinner at the local restaurant. It’s a place that’s always busy, and I’m not really sure why. The food is pretty good, but it’s not fancy or fantastic, and the restaurant’s décor is literally designed to look like the inside of a barn. I suppose it’s where many city people go when they want to have a meal in the country. I was sitting on a high-backed stool in front of beautiful piece of honey coloured Douglas Fir that’s been made into a bar. Above the bar is a valance with wine glasses hanging from it, not far from your head. It’s where they sit singles when it’s busy. Everyone else is spread out behind you at tables under the faux barn rafters. I don’t mind sitting at the bar as I can watch the hockey games and flirt with the servers. Except for tonight. Tonight there is some old guy sitting beside me who is doing a full frontal flirt with all the woman, and most of them are about a third his age. “You’re pathetic” I think, as the guy asks one of the servers about the significance of a crown she has tattooed on the back of her neck. She was making a drink for another customer and was trapped in front of him.

“She’s wearing a wedding ring and you’re OLD” I almost say out loud. But the server doesn’t seem to mind, and although I can’t make out what she’s saying, she appears to be telling him all about the tattoo. And she’s now smiling at him.

The old fellow is perhaps 60. He’s got a full head of completely gray hair that’s combed straight back. 20 years ago the hair probably started just above his eyes, now it begins much higher on his skull and that creates a pompadour effect. He has bushy eyebrows, a nose that’s somewhat aquiline and the skin around his eyes crinkles when he makes an amusing point, as he seems to be doing now as he leans over the bar towards the waitress and says something in a low conspiratorial tone. She laughs, and leaves, taking the cocktail she’s made over to another customer.

“Why don’t you hit on someone your own age, you lecherous old fart.” I think as I stuff a fork full of house salad into my mouth. I look over towards him and sneer, as I’m chomping on some arugula and lettuce.

Then it hit me.

It hit so hard and unexpectedly that I almost choked on my salad and nearly coughed a mouthful of greens all over the bar. It was a revelation as powerful and clear as anything I’ve ever experienced. I looked over to the old guy at the bar.

He is me.

He doesn’t look like me, but if he wasn’t here, I’d be the old guy flirting with the servers.

Like him, In many ways I behave and think in the same way I did in the early 1980’s. Since then I’ve known love and loss, family and fatherhood, a certain measure of celebrity, success and failure. But while experience has tempered and altered my disposition, for the most part I still think like a 25 year old. Except, my body has just entered into the undiscovered country of a sixth decade. So, I’m a 25 year old talking to you through the lips of a 60 year old. No wonder I sound so weird. I can talk the talk, but in practical terms but I’m walking the walk with a sore heel, planar fasciitis and the occasional drop toe that has me wondering if I’m developing ALS. But overall things still work. For the most part. A lot of the time. I’ll leave it at that.

At the restaurant I’ve managed to master my gag reflex and I’m now swallowing the mouthful of salad while staring at the guy next to me. It occurs to me that if he thinks the way he did when he was 25 he’s probably contemplating punching out the moron beside him (me) who’s been staring at him for the last 5 minutes.

And the server with the tattoo? She thinks like she’s still 25 too. (Although the art on her neck is at least that old, and she didn’t get it when she was 5.) She expects guys at the bar to flirt with her and has probably been serving long enough to know that flirting is harmless and it can be profitable.

To some extent we’re all young people trapped in older bodies. And we don’t know it.

The aging process takes place incrementally and our 25 year old minds don’t really notice the inexorable change. That’s why my father, shortly before he died, would sometimes get out of bed and say “What a beautiful morning. I think I’ll go for a run.” And he meant it. His body hadn’t run in 2 decades, but his mind was ready to go.

Perhaps our mental denial is what prevents us from going mad. We’re all headed for the same mortal destination. What happens then may be open to some conjecture but all of our days are numbered. As I’m pondering these esoteric and deep truths, the man beside me hands the server a wad of cash and says. “You keep it. I insist”. She thanks him, and he leaves.

I make a silent vow to start acting my age and begin focusing on being a good grandfather.

Just then the sever comes by to fill my water glass. I smile at her, while at the same time trying to prevent her from seeing a partially chewed mouthful of jambalaya.

“Bye the way” I say, quickly swallowing,

“You’re probably sick of hearing this question, but what’s the story behind that tattoo?”

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Jody Vance

Your Song, Your Playlist? – by Jody Vance

My 9 year old has discovered music, it’s the best! (thank you Santa for the iPod Shuffle)

Unlike the old days, when we would sit at the ready with pause/play/record depressed on the tape recorder and the radio on, he has unlimited options sitting before him on iTunes.

His first downloads were “Hey Jude” (The Beatles) and “Ahead By A Century” (The Tragically Hip) — I instantly felt good about my parenting skills with his choices.  Of course, being mother of the year, I introduced him to the clean versions of Eminem, Jay-Z and 50 Cent….(while impressing him and his bestie with the fact that I know all the words to the raps. cool mom) Continue Reading

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Charlotte Phillips

The 4:00am Fret – by Charlotte Phillips

I wake up virtually every morning at 4:00am, hours before I need to start my day, and I lie in my bed and fret. Some part of my brain, perhaps the anxiety cortex, if there is such a thing, fires on all cylinders and torments me for about an hour. I wrestle with the covers and the idea of simply giving in and getting up, but for some reason, I resist. It’s a standoff with my psyche.

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Ed Watson

Money and Freedom of Movement – by Ed Watson

Getty Images: File Transfer: samxmeg

To engage or not to engage, that is the question. (With apologies to the Bard.) Is it nobler to suffer for your principals, or to be insufferable and only complain that your principals are being violated? This is one of the profound questions facing Canadians today, both in our relationships with each other and with other countries, particularly the United States. For the past several months I’ve been contemplating how I personally should answer that question as it pertains to Donald Trump.

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Dini Petty

Do I have dementia? – by Dini Petty

It began when I got on the elevator several days ago and noticed a sign for a seminar on dementia

in the neighbourhood. As I waited for the elevator I started to wonder how one would know if dementia was
beginning? It played on my mind for awhile until I finally decided that if one was drifting towards dementia you’d make a mistake, a big obvious mistake that would indicate your mind was slipping.

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Jody Vance

Infertility Road Pt 2 – by Jody Vance

Getty Images: BSIP

You may have seen my post for Infertility Road Pt. 1 –if you haven’t, take a look before reading on.

Today we delve into Pt 2.

Feeling alone in your struggle.

Infertility can come from the man or the woman OR it can be the fearsome “unexplained”.  I had the latter, coupled with “advanced age” (36).  The majority of fertility issues are “unexplained”.  It’s a very helpless “un-diagnoses”……..without a reason treatment is a painful guessing game.

Guessing on a miracle is beyond comprehension and it is incredibly lonely. Continue Reading

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Adopt A Pet, Kristina Matisic

Pet of the Week! – by Kristina Matisic

 

TIA AND SNOOKS
What’s better than one kitty cat? Two! Especially when they’re as cute as us. We’re Tia and Snooks, and we’re a bonded pair from Penticton.  (I’m the light coloured one on the left.) We are looking for a loving home where we can get lots of love, attention and cuddles.
We’re ying and yang kitties, and not just based on our colouring.  I’m pretty out-going and I love to play, roll on my back and ask for long delicious belly rubs. Snooks, my best friend, is a bit more shy. She likes to enjoy some peace and quiet. I know she’d do great in a patient, loving home where she can gain some confidence.
If you’d like to meet us, we’re at the Vancouver branch of the BC SPCA
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Jody Vance

Not “just another day” – by Jody Vance

Getty Images: Caroline Purser

Today was just another day, yet not, for a couple of reasons.

First, Throw Back Thursday.

Last year on this date, I wrapped up my daily morning show on TV and was asked to “meet in the boardroom”.  Over my almost 5 years at this station there were literally hundreds of layoffs — today it was my turn.  I was told “the bad news”, and yet it wasn’t bad — at all.

Fear of change isn’t in my DNA, I’m not sure why.  Change comes and then it’s embraced – there’s always something new and exciting — un forseen — ahead.

One year ago today, while fielding texts – and calls – of condolences, there was this crazy good spring in my step.  “Onward!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love to work, I really do.  I also enjoy immensely the security of a good job – but I also love change.

Change came, one year ago today.

My second point here is: Today — March 23, 2017 — is a personal landmark day.

Today, while walking my son to his friends house (so that I could get to CKNW for my radio job by 8:15a) we happened past a gent and said “good morning.”  He returned the nicety and then looked back and said “hey, you are the writer, aren’t you?”

I paused.

I’d heard “that girl from ______” (Sportsnet, Seeking Stanley, LeafsTV, City, CBC, VTV, CKNW, Rock101) but I had never been recognized for being a writer. I looked back questioning…and then it happened.

He said, “Mybackyard, right? I just found it, I love it. Thank you, I really love it.”

Insert my head exploding with pride and gratitude.

My son looked at me with an impish, knowing, grin.  He loves when his mom is “recognized” — he said, “wow, mom, now you are a writer too!”

I’m a writer.

Game changer. What a profound example of how change is always for the better?

My point here — buried a bit, I will admit — is:

Right now THAT GUY is reading this and, perhaps only now, realizing how his words made me feel about me.  Thank you “E”.

Words don’t do justice to how you (and you and you and you.) make us feel by reading, and commenting, here.  It matters, has impact, makes the world a better place – one reader or writer at a time.

Here at Mybackyard.press we are over 40,000 (in just 6 months of writing and sharing) and growing!

Every contributor here is a writer, (thank you) every reader here is part of our community (thank you) — we are so glad to have you here in our backyard. #mybackyard

Life can throw you curveballs, and fastballs, knuckleballs and sliders — catch them all — it’s worth the gifts you must wait to see.

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Claire Martin

England, My England – by Claire Martin

Getty Images: HGL

There is something profoundly frightening watching live news play out in front of you. Especially when you know that people you care about may be caught in the cross-fire.

I’m writing this from the safety of my office, numb and shaking at the same time.

Apparently a “lone wolf” (as reported by the UK media) has struck London with devastating violence.

My brother is a very proud black-cab driver in London. He has owned his Hackney Cab license for over two decades and loves driving tourists through the city he adores.

Westminster Bridge
Whitehall

Parliament Square

These are all the areas he knows like the back of his hand. And just rolling the names on my tongue takes me home instantly.

On July 7th, 2005 – I got a frantic call from my brother – who just kept yelling “I’m ok, I’m ok, I’m ok” into the phone. I was completely confused and spent several minutes trying to calm him down and ask what was wrong.

The 7 July 2005 London bombings, sometimes referred to by Londoners as 7/7, were a series of coordinated terrorist bomb attacks in London which targeted civilians using the public transport system during rush hour.

The fourth bomb went off on a double-decker bus in Tavistock Square – about 100 yards in front of my brother’s cab. He was traumatized by the event, but unharmed. And has continued to drive in London despite suffering anxiety attacks for a year afterwards.

About 20 minutes ago, I got a phone call “I’m ok” he said quietly “I’m ok”. But I can tell he’s not.

WHAT have I done for you,
England, my England?
What is there I would not do,
England, my own?

Claire
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