We live side by side, Jessica said of her boyfriend Will.
We’re on our computers, phones or tablets whether we are sipping yet another latte or streaming Netflix. We text, don’t talk and certainly don’t touch, she said.
Intimacy is not part of the equation. She wept, as she said she didn’t think it was normal.
This is the story of the modern couple and I am seeing it more and more in my clinical practice.
These tragic would be lovers grew up with social media and it is ruining romance. We say good morning via text, get aroused by a sext and post the story of our perfect lives on the internet.
Facebook, Instagram, tumbler and twitter. Successful business people on Linked in by day we seek counseling from Pinterest Boards at night. Around town we’re at glitzy galas standing next to random luxury vehicles in rented frocks when we can’t afford to pay our rent.
Our self esteem is recalculated moment to moment by the number of likes, hearts or smiles on our posts. 200 likes? I am on top of the world. No shares? Spare me the details.
We need to find the one.
Is there an app for that? No luck on Tinder? Not to worry, there’s plenty of fish in that on-line sea. Swipe again, like what you see? One strikes our fancy, set the hook “up”, reel them in all, ready to go for that first so-called date.
You call that a date? Coffee, tea not too long, after all what if you’re not what I see? The picture is old, you’re losing your hair, short on height, not sure of this bite.
Our lives are perfect for all to see. Don’t post the picture where you hurt me. Your anger, your drinking, your lies caught me off-guard.
The façade of perfection is oh so hard. When I found you on-line sexting another, I creeped her, messaged her. It surprised her to know you were taken by me. We can be anyone we want on line except for ourselves.
A notification, can’t wait to see, I will interrupt this so-called life, who could it be?
We’ve been sexting for months, I like what I see, it seems I have fallen for thee. But what about me? My thighs rub together, the tummy not so flat. I lost my job and think I am fat. Evo is my ride and that boat belonged to a friend. When will this fake life of mine end?
Before we know it, we are enslaved by it, can’t let it go, addicted to social media, our lives on the go. We crave it just like any addict needs their fix. Cocaine? Shopping? Social media is a drug full of tricks.
Social media addiction is real and changing our brains one text message at a time, subverting the way it registers pleasure and corrupting other normal drives such as motivation, romance and sex.
Addiction has no time for intimacy and love lives suffer. It ruins jobs, relationships and lives. Yet, despite it’s consequences, we are hard at it. Put down your phone, look at your lover, believe me the former is not better than the other.