Jody Vance

Public Split

photo: Getty Images

photo: Getty Images

It’s with very mixed feelings that I digest the news of Angelina Jolie filing for divorce from Brad Pitt.

There are six kids involved in this story…..six. Six kids, already living in the spotlight of famous parents, now get to consume endless tabloid stories of their uncoupling. “What happened?”

I get it, the adults in this signed up for celebrity — they are rich — and they’ve made millions on selling their faces. That said, do they not have a right to privacy during this Public Split? Going through this is hard….really hard, even when nobody knows your name.

Mine wasn’t as public, obviously, I’m not famous — it was, however, “news” in the gossip circles of Canadian Broadcast. “Did you hear? Do you know what happened? Jody Vance and her husband have split, wonder what happened.”

I can tell you in all honesty, nothing happened, it just didn’t work out. It was a very successful 10 year relationship…and we have a beautiful boy. We kept things very quiet, amicable, and moved forward with the mantra of: “if we can’t be good to each other for the sake of our child, shame on us.”

That was five years ago and we have stuck to this mantra. It has not always easy but at the same time, when you repeat that mantra in your head, before whacking the wasps nest of old wounds, it is.

Back to The Jolie-Pitts.

I think George Clooney said it best, “It’s very sad…it’s sad for all involved.” No matter what happened, this statement is true.

Even when you know that what you are doing the right thing, it’s sad. Even when you’ve tried everything to fix it, save it, it’s sad. Even when everyone moves on, it’s sad.

I’m not going to lie here … my first thought was “I wonder how Jennifer Aniston feels right now.” My second thought was, “I bet she feels bad for her ex, his kids and even though he cheated on her and left her….I bet she feels for Angelina Jolie.” Why wouldn’t she?  She’s moved on, married, it’s been more than a decade since she split from Brad.

Big lesson learned from my split was, and is, this: I wish him well. I loved him enough to marry him, therefore, it would be ridiculous to not want his future to be bright – even if it doesn’t include me.

Kids deserve privacy, even in a public split. They deserve the chance for their parents to navigate the unchartered waters of the new reality, even if they are celebrity-movie-star-millionaires.  Put yourself in those big Public Split shoes before you buy into the storm of gossip.

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